Pappa wants mamma naked
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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