shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
