I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
