it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
