I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She announced her abortion via fbk
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
