Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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