mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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