She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize