So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
