oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
