Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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