why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
