Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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