He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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