Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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