Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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