Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just invented taco cereal.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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