Farmville is her only friend.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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