Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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