I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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