Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
