would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
