pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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