Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
