i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
