Can Purell be used as lube?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
