i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
