Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize