epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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