ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We have started to decorate penises.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
All the doctor said was why
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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