her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
