I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
operation harelip BJ is a go
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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