Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
