false alarm. still invincible.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
