YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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