Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
