I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
