girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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