You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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