I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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