Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
