the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
