There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize