He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
