That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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