My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
