mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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