I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
