What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I intend to get homeless drunk
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
