The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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