hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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