He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
