i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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