Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
