He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
